Leading deadly duffers of Hezbollah and Hamas have finally surveyed the damage that their misjudgment has inflicted on their own people, perhaps partly out of fear that these long-suffering victims might decide to terrorize them.
As a result of the self-imposed reality therapy, leaders of both organizations have expressed their regrets. In fact, all the better to wail, they have vowed to build their own Wailing Wall.
The source of materials for the project will be the plenteous shattered bricks and cement that their provocative behavior has reduced many an otherwise upright building to.
This week we?re excused from having to pick our Clever Monkey of the Week from the human performers on the world?s stage, because they?ve been outdone by the bluegill sunfish. This clever denizen of just about every pond and lake in America is, we learn, helping to protect the water supplies of major US cities like San Francisco and New York.
It seems the hand-size gamesters, which have delighted centuries of children as easy-to-catch prey, are more sensitive to a wide range of toxins than even the most responsive tech wonder. They?re also more versatile. A human apparatus can only detect the troublemakers it?s designed to react to, but to a sunfish a toxin is a toxin.
Continuing Readers: Please, page down past the brief introductory note.
New Readers: If you missed Part One, The Invention of Sex, you?ll find it elsewhere on this site or in the archieve of previous issues at NewsLaugh; the link is on the lower left. Here?s the brief introduction to these remarkable notes, repeated for your convenience.
An unexpected manuscript showed up in our inbox. We were immediately convinced of its authenticity and decided we had to share it with you. It was accompanied by the following note:
Peter Piston was driving to work when he realized that he was almost out of gas.
It was payday and, since he lived from paycheck to paycheck, he was also out of cash. His credit cards were also burned, partly thanks to price of gasoline, which was now at about $4 a gallon.
He had no choice but to pull into the gas station where he usually filled up and ask for a favor.
Just as he drove up alongside the pump, his gas-hungry SUV sputtered to a stop. He was totally empty.
Peter Piston was driving to work when he realized that he was almost out of gas.
It was payday and, since he lived from paycheck to paycheck, he was also out of cash. His credit cards were also burned, partly thanks to price of gasoline, which was now at about $4 a gallon.
He had no choice but to pull into the gas station where he usually filled up and ask for a favor.
Just as he drove up alongside the pump, his gas-hungry SUV sputtered to a stop. He was totally empty.